


The Long Rainy Season

by Moshi516



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, Kanjani8 (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:48:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25521598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moshi516/pseuds/Moshi516
Summary: The cloud seems to get darker and darker and refuse to crawl away
Relationships: Ohkura Tadayoshi/Yasuda Shota
Kudos: 1





	The Long Rainy Season

**Author's Note:**

> Touches along the subject of depression and eating disorder. If this discomforts you in any way especially in this gloomy days, please have a U-turn.

**The Long Rainy Season**

Fresh from his morning bath, Yasu walked to the kitchen, and saw breakfast neatly prepared and wrapped on the table. Rice, fish and miso soup. Also, a reminded of Yasu to take his medication. It’s their rare day off together but… Yasu chewed his bottom lips.

It’s a breakfast for one. And he knew Ohkura didn’t eat, again. If he were to ask Ohkura, he knew Ohkura will pretend like he have eaten earlier.

He took his breakfast alone and contemplated of how he should approach his partner. From the living room’s window panels, the sky is dark with heavy clouds, slowly crawling to the seaside. It’s been a long rainy season this year.

Having finished his meals and took his medication, Yasu washed all the dishes (unwashed dishes will only make him hear the nagging of the century from Ohkura) and he then approached the door to his partner’s room.

He opened it, and grinned when he see a cute sight of his partner’s fallen 47 tour blanket on the floor, and Ohkura curled up on the bed with their white Persian cat sleeping next to his chest. Shiro had been particularly attached and cuddly with Ohkura lately, usually, Shiro keeps to himself and not the lap cat type.

Yasu stared at the skinny limbs of his partner. Yasu knew that he probably is not the best person to talk about weight because he is skinny too but he has his reasons. Ohkura… he’s doing this to himself. Though, Yasu knew that it’s not exactly a conscious decision from Ohkura’s part too.

It’s more than just for the drama. It’s deeper and more complicated than that. There are dark clouds and rain in Ohkura’s heart for quite some time this year, and the rain haven’t let up and is eating up his partner from the inside.

Silently and gently, he climbed the bed and spoon himself behind Ohkura. Yasu had always wish that he’s taller and bigger. And one of the reasons had always been so that he could hug more of his partner. Though, the current Ohkura doesn’t have much to hug anyway.

He can feel that his movement has woken his partner up by the pattern of Ohkura’s breath. Ohkura silently stays in Yasu’s arms. Shiro, having noticed that the rightful partner of his Ohkura butler has come, gracefully rose and made his exit. The cat is really smart, Yasu often thought. No wonder Ohkura fell in love with him immediately the first time the two of them went to an animal shelter together.

Outside, the rain falls, relentless, unreasonable and hard.

He rubs Ohkura’s flat stomach and asked, “Aren’t you hungry yet?”

Ohkura just minutely shook his head. He’s rarely hungry nowadays, he’s not sure the last time he actually feel hungry.

“Ohkura…” Yasu lets the word lingers, unsure of how to progress, and at the same time, knowing that he needs to reach out. This time, he couldn’t play the role of silent supporter anymore, this time it feels different.

“Yasu…” and Yasu heard the crack in Ohkura’s voice.

“I did what everyone told me to do. Exercise, eats well, don’t give yourself time to think too much. Throw yourselves into work and when you’re to tired from working, you won’t have time to feel down. They say it’s all in my head, that if only I want to feel better, I will feel better. That I am the one who makes myself feel miserable.”

Yasu feel a cold, skinny hang grasp his hand that is resting on Ohkura’s belly.

“But Yasu, I’ve been waiting for so long to feel better already… I’ve waited… and waited… and waited…and I didn’t feel better… I haven’t feel like myself for so long… I haven’t feel good for so long…”

Yasu heard a sob and he hugged his partner tighter.

“I feel like I’ve been walking through this dark tunnel for so long, hoping to finally see the end of the tunnel… but it feels like I’m walking deeper into it with less and less light… Yasu, I’m getting tired”

The rain outside falls down harder, covering the sob that emits from the room. Yasu saw from the corner of his eyes that Shiro had returned, sitting at the door path, staring at them. Yasu sighed, and a sense of helplessness creeps up within him too. But no, there’s still way to reach for the light, there’s still way to bring Ohkura out of the tunnel, and he’s sad that he needs more than him to help Ohkura through this but, what matters most to him, is Ohkura’s health, physically, spiritually, mentally.

“Ohkura, do you want me accompany you to go somewhere to get help? Don’t worry, if this is what you need, I’ll be there with you to accompany you through every appointments. I’ll be there with you the whole way”

For a moment, it’s just the sound of the rain hitting the window panels, and the sound of their breath.

And then, he feel it, the tiniest of nod from his partner and the hand grasps his hand tighter again.

Maybe, just maybe… the rainy season will finally see an end to it soon and the sun will finally return to colour the earth with buds of new leaves again.

End

_笑顔だけの日々じゃないけれど_

_どんなことがあってもそのあとで_

_また笑えるなら_

_信じ合えない日々の茜空も_

_支え合えない日々に落ちる雨も_

_そこでお終いじゃないよ_

_結末はまだ遠く遠く_

_It's not just days of smiles_   
_But no matter what happens_   
_If we get to smile again after that_   
  
_On the days of glowing sky where we can't trust each other_   
_On the days of falling rains where we can't support each other_   
_Still, it's not over yet_   
_The end is still far, far away_

**(Takahashi Yu, Okaeri)**

**Author's Note:**

> It was supposed to be with more characters involved and longer but in the end, I feel like I don't want to take the focus away from the main/root of the storyline. I in no way am insinuating that Ohkura Tadayoshi have depression etc. I merely use him as a character from the inspiration I get from someone who said "I'm waiting and waiting to feel better, but I didn't", they suffered from postpartum depression.
> 
> Inspiration too was taken from Yasu's Jweb and Ohkura's Jweb. While I take the structure from the storyline from their Jwebs, none of the storyline is related to the real life person themselves. Thank you for reading.


End file.
